Loomis

Loomis has spent his whole life battling a chronic lack of confidence and self-esteem. Many attribute these characteristics to his troubled upbringing, where the other children would taunt him mercilessly for his unique heritage (his father, a hamster, had caused a scandal in the community when he ran off with a beaver of ill-repute).

Nervous, shy, retiring, desperately seeking acceptance from his peers, all these qualities made him supremely unsuited for his first job, as press secretary for the highest political office in the land.

After his boss fled in disgrace, Loomis managed to escape prosecution by convincing prosecutors that he was oblivious to the Mayor’s wrongdoings. He considers Melville his best friend. Highlights of this friendship include Melville setting him up in a drugs scandal, firing him, taking him hostage during a police siege, and sentencing him to death by firing squad.

Loomis is a fall guy. The scapegoat. The guy that never wins.